I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since I wrote my memoir, Sex, Lies, and Two Hindu Gurus. I published my book 10 years ago today — on February 15, 2012. Now, I am publishing the 10th anniversary edition today.
I learned a lot through the process of republishing my book this year, largely because I had to reread my book to bring it up-to-date and add new information.
To accomplish this task, I sequestered myself over the long Thanksgiving weekend and spent the entire time reading my book from cover to cover. It was an excruciating experience, because it’s been several years since I’ve read it. I’ve done a lot of healing since then. As a result, I was able to reread it with “fresh eyes” — and what I read through a refreshed lens was horrifying.
A Gut-Wrenching Story
It’s the story of a sexual predator and child rapist who operated with impunity in India for 60 years. Not only couldn’t the law or upstanding citizens stop him — although many tried — but also his own followers and family members flagrantly supported him, shielded him, and defended him the entire time.
With some distance from writing the book, I realized anew just how gut-wrenching the story actually is. I found this to be so much the case that I forewarned the editor I hired to proofread the book before she started reading it. The story could definitely be a trigger for any child sex abuse victim.
Along with Guru Child Predator #1, there was also a Guru Child Predator #2. They played a game of psychopathic tag for several decades — harming people and destroying lives along the way. While Child Predator #1 was never convicted (thanks to large cash payoffs to the right people in India), Child Predator #2 could not buy his way out of his trial in the U.S. He was convicted in a court of law by a jury of his peers on 20 counts of child sex abuse and sentenced to 14 years in prison in 2011.
But he escaped justice aided by dozens of his followers — and never served his prison term. And India refused to extradite him back to the U.S.
Following on the coattails of these two predators were others operating the sex cult, including many other men in the organization. Also, many of the women helped supply the gurus with women and children to abuse — including the guru’s daughters, female preachers, and the hardcore followers.
My Goals were Healing and Supporting Victims
As difficult as the story was to tell, I was inspired to write the book for two reasons. First, I wanted to try and make sense of what I had experienced during my 14 years in the cult and the dark, twisted secrets I eventually learned. Although, over the year, I knew there were some mysterious things going on behind the scenes, but I had no idea how bad it was. Then there was a crack in their armor — and all of their dark, twisted secrets spilled out like a flood of putrid water from a broken dam.
The second reason I was driven to write about my cult experience was to support the victims — past, present, and future. And there are many, many victims.
I wanted to let the victims of Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat (aka Radha Madhav Dham, Barsana Dham) know that they are not alone. There are few things worse in life than being badly abused and thinking you are alone. If you research cult therapy, one of the leading ways to heal is to have a support system. I wanted to be that support for them. It was my heartfelt desire, but also, I believed by duty (dharma).
I wanted to share the truth with those who had been hurt by JKP. I wanted to provide some salve for their wounds. I wanted to provide them some hope for healing.
My Mission Continues
My mission to support victims has been a cherished purpose to which I have dedicated my life. I am happy to hear from victims so they have someone to talk, someone who will listen, someone who understands their pain.
On that note, I will say that I’m truly shocked that only one other person that I know of, besides me, have reached out to help the victims. Just one former Indian devotee, who is now my friend. No other past devotees or even the past preachers who have left the organization have stood up and told the truth and supported victims. Unlike them, I could not just walk away and forget about the other people who have suffered.
To this day, I continue to communicate with victims of JKP — and I will continue to do so whenever anyone reaches out to me. I will answer their questions. I will help them understand the dark reality behind the pretty façade. I let them know that whatever they experienced it was not their fault, and they are not alone.
By Book. My Beacon.
The process of writing my book and publishing it the first time in 2012 was traumatizing. As a result, I needed several years to recover. At that time, I did very little to get the word out because I had to focus on my own healing process.
Healing from a cult experience can be a long and bumpy process. I was bruised and almost broken. But I found my way out of the darkness.
Now, I’m stronger and I can do much more to get the word out about my 10th anniversary edition. If you are interested in learning more, please follow me on my blog and social media platforms.
If you are a victim of JKP, please reach out. I’m here for you.
If you are interested in reading my memoir, you can find it on Amazon.
You can also subscribe to The Inner Wisdom Project and read an excerpt.
